I teach fitness classes at the gym down the street. The other day, one of my “regulars” who hadn't come in a while showed up again, and after class, she told me she couldn't make it because she was pregnant. Well, I put some gas in that motormouth of mine and cranked away at it until it got started...and didn't stop for sometime.
Wait a minute! Since when did I become the know-it-all when it comes to pregnancy and child rearing? When did I become all those women who would tell me how it was going to be, and I would smile politely and tell them I appreciated the advice?
The answer is...I don't know. I don't know when this happened! But I guess two kids later I am now the expert, according to the Shannon College of Maternal Expertise.
So, back to me blabbing on to the lady at the gym. She did seem to appreciate my advice. I told her what I wish someone would have told me when I was pregnant. After all, EVERY woman had something to say about my pregnancy, but not one told me how it was really going to be.
No one told me that I would feel like a prisoner in my own home. Before my baby, it was, in fact, all about me. I went where I wanted when I wanted, so what do you mean I can't go out? You need to take a what? A nap? Geez. Stuck at home for another two hours. And when I finally do get out and wrestle the little bundle of chub (which might as well be a water balloon) into that baby carrier that takes an hour to strap on, he decides he doesn't want to be in it, and the stubborn little thing won't let me convince him otherwise-not with a bottle, binky, swaying back and forth and back and forth. Cries turn to screams. Forget it. You win. We're going home.
Of course, there are those exceptions to the rule-those new moms who express how “wonderful” life is as a new mom and how happy they are. In my opinion, one reason for this is that they are those who have been moms at heart their entire lives. They always dreamed of the day they would have a baby, they live for others' needs, etc. But for 27 years, I always had my own thing going and didn't know how to make room for anyone else.
So after our long, what turned out to be a conversation only because I finally backed off and allowed her to talk too, we said goodbye only to have another woman approach her and congratulate her on her pregnancy. Deceiver! Tell her what she really needs to know for her own survival! It starts at all smiles and giggles for weeks and then in a matter of a day or so turns into confusion, frustration and finding your place in our big world all over again. And then back to smiles and giggles, then tearing out your hair, the cycle goes on and on.
I liked what Amy Poehler said in an interview I saw of her the other night on TV-that while you're pregnant, everyone is your friend. People hold the door for you, they let you cut in line. And then after you have the baby, everyone is your enemy. No one wants you to sit by them, no one wants you to come over to their house (unless your kids are crazier than yours), no one wants to be near you in a line, etc.
However, my cute pregnant friend seems to be prepared for all this. She said she has talked to many of her friends of hers who have kids and they did warn her about some of the tough things about being a new mom. Finally, some allies! Well, I'll give her an “A” in my grade book.